I've been in my dorm since 3pm today and the one thing I told myself I had to do was read our English assignment on Ecotourism. My English teacher said it was going to be a difficult essay to read. To say this discouraged me would be an understatement. You see, the last essay we had to read that she warned us would be slightly difficult had me on the brink of tears while trying to understand it (granted that the previous essay had a much bigger effect on our grades, our teacher still claims this new one on Ecotourism will be twice as hard as the previous one). It's already 11:10pm and I should be sleeping now, instead I am sitting next to the packet of essays afraid to even glance at it. So what do I do to make myself feel like I am responsible, but not really do shit? You got it! Procrastinate.
So here I am blogging, telling myself the moment I finish this entry I will grab that packet and read it like there's no tomorrow. Okay, wrong use of words because I wouldn't bother reading it if there was no tomorrow since tomorrow is the quiz. Okay, so onto my blog entry.
I have just realized I really do not have anything substantial to write about. This being just an excuse for me not to fulfill my responsibilities, I do not think I actually need to write anything of substance here nor do I think you expected me to anyway.
Let's start with today. I believe the days are measured by the conversations you have, ideas you come up with, and people you encounter. Karen and I had a talk about how insecure girls in school make us feel. I actually thought I was the only one who felt this way. You see, back in high school I never actually felt this inferior. All the girls in college seem to be so skinny and gorgeous and I seem to be getting more unattractive as the days go by. I realized I felt inferior in every sense of the word- not just with looks, but with academics too. In class I feel like such a ditz because everyone seems to understand the lectures while I let my mind wander off. It's even worse because the professors seem to think that the more you recite the higher your grades will be, which I do not agree with at all. Some people just choose not to recite in class because that's just not how they learn. It is not in their personality. And it bothers me that teachers choose to grade us on this. I seem to go off-topic a lot. Then again, this blog is pointless so who cares, really?
I have been watching a ton of Make-up gurus on YouTube. I fail at putting make-up on. I have always loved Make-up ever since I was a kid. I used to experiment using my mom's limited collection (she used to be really simple back then. I think as I grew into a teenager, she became one as well. She wears heels now and buys make-up). I try to put on make-up, really, but my face was not made for it. Just when I think it looks great, my Asian eyes eat up all the make-up until there's nothing there anymore. I gave up for a while until I started watching these videos and it sort of gives me hope that with the perfect tools at my disposal I can finally look good with make-up on. So, I made a huge ass list of things people can buy me for Christmas. I'm guessing it's perfect since make-up doesn't cost that much and people always ask what I want so might as well just tell them. I won't post the whole list here. I'm hoping by New Year I'll have a make-up collection of my own!
So I have actually entered stage 7 of my Procrastination stage and it is not pretty. I just actually opened it and realized how small the print is and that it is 8 pages long. I'm sort of having a panic attack at the moment.
What's going to get me through this is the thought that I need a 2.8 to shift to AB Psych. That's a whole 'nother thought that needs a separate blog entry and I don't have time for that now.
I should go before I have a nervous breakdown.
No comments:
Post a Comment