It has been a year and a couple of days since I graduated High School. As messed up as people say high school made them, I was fortunate enough to have had to make up a reason for my crazy. You see, I went to the most boring High School ever. Now that I look back, that place didn't give me shit to help me with my life now. Ah, well, that's that. High school was a blast though. I never had to think of studying, because my teachers were so used to nobody giving a fuck that even just .1% effort put into an essay got me an A. It sounds like I went to some really jank High School, but actually people even call it prestigious. I may hate that I didn't learn shit, because I'm paying for it now that I'm in college, but I can't say I didn't have fun. I mean, isn't that what high school is for?

I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic, because in less than 2 weeks, I'm going to be a sophomore in college. Wow. I was looking at old pictures and reminiscing (lol hate that word). I thought I'd show you through photos.


After our class play in my sophomore year. I don't even remember what my role was.


With Nicole & Yua. This was during our school fair. Look at how straight my hair used to be.


At a friend's themed sweet sixteen


Getting (obviously) drunk for the first time ever in my junior year. Ended up crying on my mother's lap when I got home.


Prom night! Yes, I had a date. I can't locate a photo of us, but here's one with me and the people who made that night great, my friends. :)


Last night of junior year, when we threw a party. This is when we started our party planning thing.


My class for senior year. We were always fooling around.


My forever friends. These are my busmates (missing Trishy). We spent practically our whole lives knowing each other.


This are my friends & I right after we received our diplomas!


This was us celebrating in our Graduation Ball.

That's my high school life in photos. Of course it had more crazy nights and boring routine days than you can see here, but this is how I'll remember it. :)
*sorry I couldn't find any pics from freshman year*

I always get excited to see the magazine covers for April. April's my birthday month, you see. I am always curious to see if they put my favorite models/celebs on the covers. When they do, I feel like they were made for me, as a birthday present. This month, I was blessed by the magazine gods. Not only did they have great people on their covers, the covers themselves (styling, location, editing, photo in general) were great. Plus, there is one cover girl that I was so so so shocked and amazed to see.





Very in-demand were Amanda Seyfried and Rihanna, getting two covers each. I have to say that I love Rihanna's Rolling Stone cover more than her Vogue one. The former just seems to suit her more. Everyone seems to think Amanda looks best in Prada as she is wearing just that in both her covers this month. She looks perfect in both covers and she even seems to be working the same pose. If it ain't broke why fix it?

A bunch of these magazines, I don't really care much about like GQ, Men's Journal and Women's Health, but when they have people like Alessandra Ambrosio, my ultimate VS girl crush, Daisy Lowe, my once favorite It-Girl, Emma Roberts, my idol when I was 13 and still such a style icon, Jake Gyllenhaal, who starred in one of my favorite movies (Brokeback Mountain), they manage to catch my attention. Daisy's is probably my favorite of the three, because she looks so sexy even without her whole body being shown.

Dolce and Gabbana S/S seems to be another popular choice as it is seen in two Vogue covers this month, one for China and the other for Paris. The Paris cover is Gisele in a Dolce and Gabbana dress. This dress is actually the most used dress this month because it appears in three, yes three, Vogue covers, Espana, Germany & Paris. Interestingly enough, this is also Emmanuelle Alt's first cover for Vogue Paris. You'd think she'd want to make it a big one, but instead she chose a dress that everyone's using. In her defense, this dress epitomizes Spring. My favorite cover this whole month has to be another one that uses this dress. It is Vogue Germany. The vibrant blue and the beautiful sea just draws me to it, and isn't that the purpose of a magazine cover?

I love when models are on the covers of magazines. Vogue Nippon has the still stunning Kate Moss on their cover. I am always bothered by the amount of text in these Asian magazines, but I guess they have more characters in their writing and we can't change that. Another model on the cover this month is Abbey Lee for Vogue Russia. This cover is so-so, as I love Abbey, but I am bored with this picture.

Celebrities in magazine covers always sell. Mia Wasikowska is on the cover of Black Book looking fantastic. She is promoting her movie, Jane Eyre, which I am so excited to see. Robert Pattinson is also on the cover of Vanity Fair promoting Twilight maybe? I used to dislike Rob for his Twilight role, but I started to love him when he expressed his disdain for the franchise of which he is the leading man. Another celebrity here is Scarlett Johansson for Vogue China. She looks super sexy in another Dolce dress. Nothing much to say as ScarJo looks amazing all the time. Then there are the singers, Gwen Stefani and Britney Spears, on the covers of Elle and Out Magazine respectively. I'm so excited to see Brit in magazines as I have an undying devotion for her.

Last and certainly not the least is that one person you're dying to see on a magazine cover, but thought you never would- she, herself, who makes amazing magazine covers possible- now on the cover of this month's Wall Street Journal. So, this isn't Anna's (yes, first name basis) first and only cover, but it's one of the very very rare few (If I'm not mistaken she's only ever been on the cover of one other magazine). It is so regal looking. Her profile makes her look like a Queen on a coin. A queen she is to us fashionphiles. Thank you, Mrs Anna, for the present that is your presence on a magazine cover on my birthday month.

It's going to be a good month, guys! Happy 18th to me! :)

I rarely go out nowadays. That means I rarely got to shop. Just a week ago, I was at the mall just to help my brother pick out shoes for his school party. I happened to chance upon Zara and had a peek. My my, was I in for a treat! Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt *u*

I wasn't able to look at everything because we were in a hurry so I thought, "Hey, that's what the internet is for!" I figured why stop at Zara? I checked out all my favorite stores' catalogs too.



I adore Zara's current collection! I'm more fond of the Women line rather than TRF. There are rarely any prints. The clothes are just clean cuts and bright colors. I loved this collection because of all the references it made to S/S collections. I spotted a brown and black striped dress (Stella McCartney), a structured green and black striped top (Prada), that scarf (Jil Sander-ish) and those beige buckle booties (Lanvin). Unfortunately those first two I entioned I couldn't find on the website, but I saw them at the mall. I really hope I could save up enough to buy some of my the pieces here. My top 3 would be the black tulip dress that I would don with numerous accessories(Mary Katrantzou isdatchu?), the green mini skirt which would go well with so many tops and shoes



I don't love Topshop as much as I used to. Maybe because they're still producing the same styles. I really like Topshop because it's got that very London vibe to it (duh!). Maybe it's a slow month in fashion for them, but I hope they get their groove back. I usually buy swimsuit from them but even that they don't have anything nice. I'm not even loving the shoes which is weird because the shoes are my favorites from Topshop. Ah, maybe it's just my style that's changed.

The moment I head to the mall, I'm trying on all that above to see if they look as amazing in real life. Fortunately for me, my weight works to my wallet status' advantage. Things don't generally look good on me so that means I won't be spending much (wow that sounds sad). Well, that's it! Wow, the things I do at 4am!

fright night

I read other people's blogs and I fell embarrassed for mine. I don't go out a lot so I don't have much photos of myself in pretty places wearing pretty clothes. I wish I went to more fascinating exhibits and posh cafes. I wish I met more interesting people and did new things. That's what I'm aiming to do this summer. I need to stop bumming around the house and make the most out of my two week (yikes!) vacation.

Anyway, it's pretty obvious that I don't blog much about anything other than fashion or my teen angst. If you only know me from reading my blog, you'd probably think that those are the only facets of my personality. Of course, that's not true, because what person only cares about fashion and her mental well-being (okay maybe that last bit is pretty important, but you catch my drift).

I would like to introduce to you guys another thing that I enjoy: horror movies. I am fascinated by anything morbid. Seeing blood and guts gets me super excited. I know it sounds messed up, but I'm pretty sure I am not the only horror movie enthusiast. It's quite sad that I don't have many friends who share my love for serial killers and zombies, so I never have anyone to watch the movies with (hint to future boyfriend: my ideal date would be a night in consisting of pizza, soda and a horror flick).

I thought I would compile a list of my favorite horror flicks. I'll even include a download link for those of you who want to check it out. These are in no particular order. You'll see that I'm more into slasher flicks and ghost movies that vampire and zombie ones.

A Tale of Two Sisters
I think Asian horror movies are the scariest. I watched this Korean film just this year and I couldn't sleep for days. I think what makes this film so great is that it doesn't just scare you, it gives you an unexpected ending too! You get mind fucked at the end.

Audition
Another Asian horror flick! This is probably the only movie that I have yet to finish because I had to stop it the first time around. I never thought I'd have to stop a movie because it was so horrific, but with this one I just had to. I can't say if this movie is good yet. but if scariness is the only thing on your criteria then this one is up for 1st prize.

Friday the 13th Franchise
I grew up watching these movies. I think I've seen every single one. They're definite classics. I still can't explain why Jason never dies, but who cares, really? He makes for an awesome slasher movie villain.

The Blair Witch Project
This movie is a classic. I barely saw any blood or ghosts and yet I got scared out of my wits. Never mind that it was dizzying and disorganized. It felt real that way. I was so creeped out by the testimonies of all the supposed locals of that town. This one is another classic.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This movie probably had the biggest impact on me. I can never sleep with my legs not curled up anymore because of the scene where (SPOILER) that dude's legs get cut off. Also the horrific part where the now leg-less dude is hanging on a pig hook and the killer puts salt in his wounds. OH GOD. It's all so vivid.

Silence of the Lambs
If I were to pick a movie which was not only scary, but also very well made, this movie would be at the top of my list. My issue with a lot of horror flicks is that they are poorly made- focusing so much on the gore and missing out on the substance (Saw franchise). This movie delivers both! I also love that the main antagonist in this movie is based on so many real serial killers ( another fascination of mine).

Hostel
What's so great about this movie is that it isn't really just about "I wanna kill". It's a lot more messed up than that. Think a lady who bathes in a young girl's blood to keep herself youthful ala Elizabeth Bathory. It's really interesting to see what the wackos will do to all the people they buy (Yes, they buy people and do whatever the hell they want with them). Interestingly enough, none of them rapes their victims.

Well, that's just from the top of my head. If I recall more I'll make sure to update this post!

Okay folks! It's really impossible to keep writing papers all day and stay sane. That's why I go for these little blogging breaks. I figured I would wrap up my Paris FW favorites!





I mean, how gorgeous is that black and blue look (top middle)? Alexis Mabille did not disappoint. After being so astonished by her Haute Couture collection, I expected a lot for her FW and she lived up to it. Even the coats (which I rarely really like) are cute!

It has been a ruthless couple of days. You see, this week is what we, college students, like to call Hell Week (actually, I wish I could refrain from using that term because that would mean it didn't come around every so often). It's a Wednesday today which means I'm half way through it! I wish I could just relax this weekend and not have to worry, but I've actually got two exams next week and an oral defense (which is probably what I'll be worried for most).

I always end up passing a half-assed paper, because I always cram. I always cram, because whenever I do have free time (which is quite rare), I feel like I should make the most out of it (sleep, watch shows, go out). I actually don't know how to put 100% of my efforts into a project. I'm not even sure if I can do that. I work on something and if I worry about it enough, then I feel I've done my best. It's like I use my anxiety to mean that I worked hard enough on it, when in fact I just worried a lot more than I should have. I think it's because worrying is so damn exhausting that afterward you just feel like you've done all you can and can do no more.

Do I regret going to Ateneo? Right now, I do. Ask me in three years and I would say no. Ask me in six years and I don't know what I'd say. Would being an Ateneo graduate really give me an edge? Would people be really impressed with me because I graduated from Ateneo despite my mediocre grades? Do people even know how difficult it is?

I don't know why I had to be such an arrogant asshole. I guess this is what I get for thinking I am smarter than everyone therefore I will go to Ateneo and leave all you stupid people behind. If this is karma, then what prize do I get for forcing myself into a school that only half-accepted me, just so I could make my parents happy?

If I tried half as hard as I try now back in High School, I probably would be an honor student. I think it was being so used to mediocrity that makes me such a wreck now. I used to go to school and only find out there is going to be a quiz the moment the quiz paper is passed down to me. I still end up with an average or above average grade (except for Math. Fuq Math). They're right, discipline taught in school really does affect the person you will be, but the thing is they didn't teach us discipline in high school. (Going to try not to talk about that because this will end up into a post about how much I hated my school and how horrible it is yadda yadda). Now I am just so complacent, but at the same time, so stressed out! That's contradictory, but I just mean I am so stressed out and worried, but I half-ass it anyway.

Nothing is making sense right now. I am listening to the Charlie Sheen interview again and again and it seems to be calming me down. Earlier in the day it was Rebecca Black's Friday. Is this the disintegration of my intellect? I think so. Ateneo is at fault.

Hello, lovelies! It's a Monday today and I just got back from a birthday date from Megamall with one of my college besties, Eleita! She turned 18 today and we shopped to celebrate! All my energy has been drained, but I wanted to post my Paris Fashion Week favorites since I wasn't able to last week (I left my laptop at the dorm while I was at home).

I just got a manicure today! I have been looking for the perfect greige nail polish since I saw them on the Chanel runway but it was only a few weeks ago, when I had stopped searching, that I found it. Of course, it wasn't the actual Chanel one, but it was really close! It is OPI, but, unfortunately for me, the label had faded off, so I wasn't able to find out the exact shade. :( Ah, well. I shall look for it next time!

Anyway, this post is not about my discovery of a nail polish shade (although it was a glorious moment). This post is going to be all kinds of pretty. This morning I discovered an amazing site that had all the editorials from the magazines of the past months. I was so engrossed in them that I looked back at months of editorials I haven't seen before! I thought I'd post the best ones on here just for kicks!


This probably came out after Black Swan!




I love colorful editorials!




This was actually an ad campaign for Lanvin




Meghan Collison is one of my favorite models , if not my favorite, ever.


This scared the living daylights out of me! The whole editorial is so creepy!


This was probably the cutest editorial ever! The babies were adorable.




This editorial was breathtaking!



I hope that gave you some inspiration! I know it did for me! :)

Milan

Okay, now that Photobucket is up and running again, there will be no more delay! Can't wait to share my Milan faves!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

I have been listening to Elie Goulding's cover of Only Girl In The World on repeat. Her voice is so beautiful. It's so calm and, uhm, British! Hahaha!
I wanted to blog about Milan Fashion Week, but Photobucket seems to be under maintenance so I cannot access the photos. Instead, I will just write complete nonsense like I usually do (Yay, she's going to rant about her miserable life again!)

So I am turning 18 in a month and, apparently, to some people, this is a huge deal. I don't understand our culture's understanding of birthdays. I suppose it's celebrating that we've made it another year without dying (which I don't understand either. What's so bad about dying? It's not like you'll feel any regret or sadness, because, hey, you're fucking dead!). I grew up celebrating birthdays like any normal child. We had party hats and cakes and pool parties like most kids do. I don't know why I am so apathetic when it comes to special occasions (I feel the same way about New Years and I'd probably feel the same way about relationship anniversaries if I ever get to have one). I just lost the excitement for it when I grew up and didn't see the point in them.

So, to finally say it out loud and appease people's burning curiosity (this is me deluding myself into thinking I am important and relevant), no I will not have a party or debut or whatever. I won't be traveling to some fancy island. I won't be getting a car. Friends and relatives always like to ask me what I am going to do for my birthday. I just *kanyeshrug* when I really want to say "What's it to you?". Why is it that people expect something from you when it's your birthday? I feel like I am obligated to have a party or dinner. WHY. No one really gives a fuck that I am alive for one more year. You all just want to dress up and eat my food. Let's not joke ourselves. Would anyone even go if we just go to a park and bring bottles of Coke and a bag of pretzels to celebrate my birthday? FUCKING NO.

I am glad my parents share the same birthdays-are-lame sentiment.
They don't even ask me anymore because they know I'd just jokingly ask for whatever designer item I am lusting for at the moment. I really feel weird when someone makes a big deal out of my birthday. I do appreciate it, but just don't do it. I know you mean well, but don't. Once, a friend decided to throw a surprise party and I found out and decided not to show up (lol I'm a class A cunt).

I just cannot handle a whole event where the whole focus is me. Just thinking about having a party scares the panties off of me. Think of a huge room full of people who spent hours fixing themselves to look presentable enough for your event. They're going to be sitting down and just staring at you, eating your food, greeting you, dancing to celebrate you. Oh God, it's giving me a panic attack. There will be speeches for you. People will talk about your party and be like "It was fun" or "It was so lame!". The worst is that you're going to have to smile the whole time. UGH. I also feel like people have debuts just to upstage other people's debuts. They just want to wear a pretty dress and they want everyone to look at them. I am not judging. It's your birthday, you can do what you want. I used to dream of being Prom Queen when I was eight, because I liked pretty dresses and I liked people liking me. Somewhere along the way I incurred some anxiety issues and I just felt uncomfortable being in front of the limelight.

It's not just the celebratory aspect of birthdays that I dislike. I feel bad with the idea of my parents giving me a gift. "Hey Chels, here's a brand new Mercedes. Congratulations on not dying/killing yourself this year!". I honestly would not mind if they picked up a leaf, wrapped it in newspaper and gave it to me. Heck, they don't even have to wrap it. I do not care. I feel guilty every time my Mom gives me allowance. I rarely, if ever, even ask her to buy me anything that I don't feel is necessary. I haven't gotten anything for my 15th, 16th and 17th birthday, and I won't just ask to cash it in one day when I need it. My parents pay for so much of my shit already that I cannot imagine the person I would be if I ever demand a gift for them just because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. Besides, if my parents do insist on giving me money for my birthday, hell has to freeze over before I decide to spend it on anyone other than myself (This has got to be the most paradoxical idea ever. "I am too selfless to ask for money, but if ever you do give me some then fuck everyone, this is not going to be spent on some party just so all of you can dress up and eat my food. Fuck you, I am buying me some Versace").

I am not saying other people who expect gifts and parties and people flocking to celebrate them are horrible. These are just my feelings. I do see how odd they are. I do enjoy cake though. That has got to be the best thing about birthdays.

Nom.